The Dating Hype Cycle

As a full-time Management Consultant, I've gotten pretty used to dissecting processes, drawing up graphs that tell you very little, saying words like 'leverage' and 'synergies' when ordering at McDonalds and using analogies about low hanging fruit and boiling oceans. Much of what I do for a day job is about taking some all kinds of raw data, analysing it into a state of hypotheses, determining their truths and then deciding whether or not to implement. A little but like dating if you think about it. So three days ago, knee-deep in digital data, I see a colleague paste up a chart on the wall titled 'The Digital Hype Cycle'. It takes us through the various stages in the digital cycle of a capability from 'Early Innovation' to 'Peak of Productivity'. Reading the phase names, we humorously start discussing how these stages could be applied to the world of dating. I think - why not try to explain the concept of love through my business acumen?

Welcome to the 'Dating Hype Cycle'. Stage 1: Early Innovation This stage is all about scouting and finding a potential match. You're on Tinder, you're asking friends of friends out, you're winking at that cute guy / girl on the train, you're wondering what the workplace relationships policy is, you're leaving no stone unturned. Where there's potential, there's you. This is all about finding what fits for you, for your present and your future. You're a creator, a master, an INNOVATOR. Go you. Finally, after much scouting and creeping, you find ONE. Stage 2: Peak of Inflated Expectations This is the slow climb up a very, very long curve. You've met the right person (or so you think) and you're now expecting AH-MAZING things. Your dreams are all going to come true, there's going to be a rock the size of your eyeball on your hand in 6 months, you'll wear Vera Wang, you're going to live in Paris with a view of the Eiffel Tower and this man / woman will be the answer to all your prayers. Your expectations higher than The Weeknd pre-concert. You done it. You done found the best person ever. Stage 3: Trough of Disillusionment That's when you hit Stage 3. This is when it all falls apart. Uh oh. So turns out your perfect person isn't so perfect after all. Nope. Turns out Mr. / Ms. Right has got QUUUITEEE a lot of issues. This is the phase where hidden children begin to surface, emotional wounds the size of craters emerge, previous marriages are revealed (many of which may be continuing at the time of revelation...), they have mummy issues, need a blanky to sleep at night, have pet rocks, aspire to be rappers who sing about Bananas in Pyjamas (sorry, I'll stop projecting now), are either clingy AF or emotionally unavailable. All the usual stuff, you know what I mean. We end up in a stage of disillusionment, shattered our dreams can no longer be realised. Devastating. Stage 4: Slope of Enlightenment Until! Until your upwards curve my friend begins to slowly stabilise. Your initial shock in this stage begins to dip, revealing beneath a series of logical truths that aren't as hard to swallow. Ok, maybe your Mr. Right has 6 kids to 4 different women, but it just goes to show he's versatile? Being a stepmother isn't so bad, takes the pressure off having kids anyway right? And so what if he's emotionally unavailable? You're available. Like Captain Planet, your powers combined can save the world and this relationship. Maybe he has pet rocks, so what? You've always thought living animals were too much work anyway. A stagnant pet could be a real welcome emotional change. See? Not so bad at all. You're awake now. You've become the Dalai Lama of love, rising above it all. Maslow would be proud of your self-actualisation. Stage 5: Peak of Productivity Welcome to the the equilibrium. In this final phase, now that you've embraced the limits of your Mr. / Ms. Kinda-not-so-normals' love, you've found contentment. You're living in blissful joy, you, your lover and your combined pet rocks. Your dreams will still come true, just not in Paris, but Parramatta. Still starts with par ;) There we have it. The 'Dating Hype Cycle' un-boxed. I hope you found value in this insight. Somehow I never seem to get past my inflated expectations and disillusionment - but hey, that's another blog post. Till next time! R xx