CAN'T EVEN, WHAT EVEN HAPPENED ON THE BACHELOR LAST NIGHT?

Last night on The Bachelor Australia, some serious SHITE went down because not-so-perfect-himself

Bachie, Sam Wood, sent FREAKING HEATHER HOME. YES. HE CRAZY #douchebagstats.

First and foremost, WHAT IN THE HELL WAS HE THINKING? And second of all, I JUST CAN’T EVEN. Once again, for the women of the world that sit quietly in the friend-zone, building relationship potential and trying to ‘be there’ for the men they pine for, came another great metaphoric punch to the face. The truth prevailed and it was once again confirmed, men will always let their picker prevail over all else. THE NICE GIRL, finished last. WOW, WHAT A SHOCK. NOT.

Whilst Heather might’ve come into the game a little too ‘friendly’ and played the 'dude' card till we wanted to change channels on her ‘Sup legend!’ feels, SHE WAS ON POINT. She was funny, bright, sweet, GORGEOUS and a total catch. She let herself open up, didn't dress like a blow-up doll with fish lips. The truth is, long-lasting relationships need a friendship to last. Talk to ANY couple who has lasted over the 10 – 20 year mark and they will tell you FOR SURE, that the basis of any great relationship is the ability to be friends first. Heather was EVERYTHING this guy wanted and needed with his long, beach-front monologues about finding ‘true love’ and someone he could ‘share his life with’ and yet somehow he picked the girl with the bug-eyes and mysterious perfection vibe about her. Because of course, it’s so off-putting to actually be able to have a conversation with a woman you’re attracted to. KISSING ON A BOAT IS NOT FRIENDSHIP, LONG-LASTING LOVE SAMUEL.

As someone who practically LIVES in the town of Friendzoneville, I J’FEEL HEATHER so much right now. Thousands of women like me sat with our bowls of popcorn and Maltesers and were waiting, hoping, praying and wishing that FINALLY, there would be justice for the ‘nice’ girls without the 2.5kg of powder on our faces and ability to look seamlessly sexy all the time. Sometimes we got our hair in a bun with an ugly as eff beanie and THAT’S OKAY. Heather was a ‘real’ woman. Yes, I know, everyone’s real, but even then, she was the average girl, the girl we all identify with and that’s why I’M SO FREAKING BROKEN UP. Because this show just totally enforced to every average woman that though you might be amazing in your own skin and a man’s best friend, you will most probably be upgraded for your 2.0 Hottie Version if she comes along and pretends to give a crap about your man.

Yeah, okay, okay, I GET IT. The Bachelor is a ‘reality’ TV show and therefore, some drama must be induced. But for god’s sake man, you HAD A CHANCE to be the greatest man on Earth and you missed it. He had a chance to change the entire landscape of how women are interacted with, how relationships are formed and set a precedent for THOUSANDS OF MEN. A precedent to re-examine the gorgeous women in their lives who make them laugh, share, confide and smile but don’t necessarily set the picker on fire.

In this cray sexualised culture we live in with porn dripping from every corner, billboards of half-naked women selling us clothing (so advertising, much media), it’s no wonder the Bach picked a woman who set his loins on fire. Who wants meaningful sex now anyway? If it isn’t burning-on-fire hot, who wants it? I shake my head. INTIMACY is built Samuel, not born out of thin air. If only you used your brain over your balls, you’d have manned up and made the right life choice for yourself.

I know you don’t owe anyone anything, Bach, but you could’ve been a beacon of light. I’m not going to be crazy mad at you and I’ll still watch to the end, but DAMMNIT MAN, pick up yo damn game.

Kcoolthxbye.

R xx

#bachelor #lov #friendzone #girls