The New C Word: Why Creepy is the Worst Thing You Can Call a Man

Last week on a balmy Wednesday evening, I sat amongst a group of fun, friendly colleagues at the bar across the road from the office. Before we knew it, the beer jugs were emptying, the laughter was rising and the conversation turned to talking about how quiet and observant one of our colleagues seated before us was. As the banter continued, I sensed my inner Beyon-cray was emerging and before I knew it, within seconds, I ended up putting my Louboutin in my mouth (foot in my mouth, not literally you crazy people) when I happily chimed in:

'Yes! You are so quiet, kind of creepy! You're creepy.'

If there was ever a time in my life where I could've heard glass shatter around me, flames bursting and the sound of mental sirens, that was it. I was immediately swamped with a barrage of 'What is wrong with you?' and 'What is in your drink?' (tonic water and lime FYI) comments and I realised, I'd just made a grave, grave mistake.

Though I apologised almost immediately with absolute sincerity to the very lovely and definitely NOT creepy person I'd just offended beyond belief, I did stop to wonder hours later when I left the bar. Had I really gone too far? How could they have not known I didn't mean it that way, you know the serial-axe-murderer way? Or sexual predator who lingers in dark corners kind of way? It was obviously an attempt to tease lightly, not offend severely?

Since when had the word creepy...gotten so...creepy?

Having called MANY men creepy before, (to and behind their faces) I have to admit, the term has almost become a focal part of my everyday vocabulary. We all know creepy! We've seen it, lived it and survived it. That guy at Starbucks looking at you from across the room for the last 35 minutes and hasn't blinked? Yeah, he's creepy. The guy at the bar who walks over to buy you a drink and tries putting his hand on your butt in return? Creepy. The man that can't take a hint and keeps persisting in asking you out after you've rejected him 24,000 times? Creepy. But that's obvious right?

If you're anything like me however, your use of the C word extends far beyond the face value. It exists as a sign of camaraderie, friendship, even as a term of endearing playfulness with those I often jest with and tease. That male colleague who grins at you with a Cheshire smirk and tells you your dress looks hot that day? Creepy. The best guy friend who tries to add all your homegirls on Facebook after meeting them on a night out together? Creepy. The super funny and adorable shy guy at your favourite bar who always smiles but never speaks to you? Creepy. It's just my way of expressing, I find you on my level and therefore, I can openly slander you. Maybe it's my good old Australian humour or maybe it's cause I'm just secretly a mega-bitch, but my teasing only means I appreciate you that much more.

It seems, however, that I am definitely alone when it comes to this school of thought when it comes to the Big C. At least according to the men of the world, including my friend Sam, 25, who carefully explained to me:

'YOU DID WHAT? Oh hyell nah! You crazy?! Calling a guy creepy doesn't just mean unwanted attention from a weirdo murderer anymore. Girls use 'creepy' every time a guy they don't find hot hits on them. That's not being creepy, you just find them ugly!'

Obviously I paraphrased that quote a bit (like the oh hyell nah etc.) but, what? Surely that's not true right? I mean why wouldn't you just call the guy ugly then?

'Because how many times does a woman ever actually call a guy ugly to their face?' My friend Alex, 22, chimed in as soon as the words left my mouth.

Okay, good point. But even then, how could basic logic not prevail here? Why would I ever call a genuinely creepy guy, creepy to his face? Surely the only time a woman can say this to a man's face is either if she's sure the creepy guy won't kill her OR most commonly, is happily comfortable to joke around with the man at hand?

'It's not so much the word itself that's the problem, you see. It's the stigma attached to it. Nowadays, it's generally used to describe a guy who isn't naturally Alpha. Or when a man approaches a woman and tries to flirt / hit on her and she doesn't find him physically attractive. The girl will just call the poor guy creepy and any confidence he might've had, is instantly shattered. Then women wonder why men don't approach them!' Dan, 29, told me, very much echoing Sam's sentiments.

Well, I'll be damned. And here I was, walking around town happily handing out the badge of creepiness to anyone and everyone like free candy out of a white van. Though the wisdom these boys above dispelled certainly resonated with me, my 'Aha!' moment came from none other than my best male friend CP, who enlightened me with this final golden nugget:

'Calling a guy creepy today is the male equivalent of when a man calls a woman a bitch for rejecting him. She may not be one, but you're trying to call her out for not giving in to your approaches. As a woman, you'd know, that stuff hurts.'

That's when it truly hit me. The point wasn't the word itself, in its purest, most natural dictionary definition often reserved to describe crayville murders, pedos and general lurkers who mouth-breathe on your neck (and smile at you with a combination of carnal desire and bug-eyed hunger) was offensive. It was the fact that as soon as I'd uttered it, I'd basically implied that this really nice guy, was an unattractive mouth-breathing, club-approach-style sleaze with icky intentions. Yeah, I can see how that would be kind of offensive.

Anyway, 48 hours of more than sufficient apologising and grovelling later, I feel like I've finally made up for it (or not. There is a risk I could've damaged his psyche forever, but I'm trying not to think of that). My lesson has truly been learnt and I'm definitely going to be cherry-picking my C bomb when I drop it next. The word douchebag however, is a whole different blog.

On a side note, to all the men who read this blog post and then try to send me an email hitting me up for my number? I know you can't help it (I mean look at me), but just don't. Now that's creepy.

R xx

#Love #romance #funny #boys